Am I a perfectionist? If you approach yourself with the question, you can have this feature, even to a small extent. I think we all know, though not always, the truth that nobody is perfect. But if you sometimes miss this, try to remind yourself of the truth frequently. Perfectionism is a habit we may frequently encounter in some areas of our lives. So, do you think overcoming perfectionism is possible? So, is this a terrible feature in every way? Or is there such a thing as healthy perfectionism? Is it possible to take perfectionism and focus on our goals for ourselves and act in a disciplined way? In this article, we will look closely at a list of several books that will encourage us to think deeply about perfectionism.
Dancing with Perfectionism
Now think of someone who generally can’t help dealing with any subject from a scientific perspective. In other words, she is someone whose perspective and way of thinking is a scientific mind. But remember that this person knows why she has this obsession and enjoys it. Am I a perfectionist? I guess so. I really enjoy the paths I navigate and the conclusions I reach when researching any information. But when I look in the mirror, I can easily tell you that I love this habit of mine and I am at peace with it. For a while now, I’ve been trying harder to understand myself, reading and researching. I think I’m in a period where I’m stuck with my labels, I’m trying to see myself from different perspectives, with different eyes. If I am unfair to myself, I want to solve it and understand the reasons. I want to look in the mirror with confidence and self-confidence, open new areas for the talents I have, and improve myself.
“Perfectionism” is a trait that I used to enjoy but now it tires me out. I’m just now realizing how tiring and slowing down this characteristic is for me. At its core, I know there is fear, fear of judgment, rejection, and not being enough. When you accept it and face it, you realize what a great power this situation has over you. I expect this perfectionism mostly from myself, not from other people. When I look at it, it is a situation called “socially prescribed perfectionism”. But when a person handles this situation in a balanced way, she can focus on goals and work more disciplined. I think one of the most important points is to allow oneself to be understanding and kind to oneself.
Overthink About
Extreme perfectionism affects the inner world of the individual. She generally has high standards for herself, does not tolerate mistakes, and strives to be perfect. It is emotionally challenging and can cause a feeling of dissatisfaction, stress, and anxiety. Perfectionism and self-esteem know each other very closely. When it comes to managing perfectionism, the health of the individual needs to avoid dealing with problems such as anxiety, stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Fear of being judged or disapproved by others,
- Weakening self-confidence,
- The feeling of inadequacy,
- Need for control,
- Linking personal value to achievements
Deep Words for Myself
We all deal with something throughout our lives, and as the roads progress and increase, we must. Because as life develops and changes, it becomes more meaningful. We must face our fears and be able to deal with our comfort zones. But what I mean is not something like we must constantly learn something new and improve. As human beings, we must accept how normal change is mentally and embrace ourselves and our essence. So why are we talking about this issue? In my opinion, one of the most enjoyable ways to make a situation most balanced for ourselves is of course to read books. Reading, thinking about it a lot, and even writing.
That’s why I came to you with a list from myself, from a place I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, from a delicate place. I haven’t read any of the books yet, but I think I’ll start with one of these. I’ve already researched so much, why should I start with another book, right?
1. The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown
This book covers things a bit more broadly. She says that we must foresee that our priority is ourselves. “My story matters because I matter,” says Dr. Brené Brown. When we accept the facts as they are, it invites us to a revolution in which we will nourish ourselves and our happiness with freedom. She argues that finding ourselves is important for the “power of wholehearted living” and that it can bring us happiness and meaning. If you like personal development books and have questions and issues about not being good enough with yourself, feeling vulnerable, and your values, give this book a try. No one is perfect and you know what? And it’s fine.
“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.”
― Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
2. The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, Thomas Curran
In recent years, we have been going through times where mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety are at a very high level and competition and comparison in daily life are quite high. These are high-tech and difficult times where social media and consumption increase and people are always told to be more. Society is always forced to want more and be perfect. Curran, too, offers us a satisfying alternative way to become “individuals who can resist today’s pressure to be perfect and thus earn a more meaningful and happy life for ourselves.”
“How we behave is influenced by how others behave. We like to think we’re as free as birds, that we’re completely unique individuals, and certainly very different from most people around us. But in actual fact, we’re not unique in the slightest.”
― Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough
3. Scratched: A Memoir of Perfectionism, Elizabeth Tallent
We are talking about an author who remained silent for two decades, and in this book, Tallent tells us this through her own story. She tells us about her struggle with perfectionism based on her own life. With her internal perspective, she confronts us with perfectionism and the difficulties she has experienced despite the successes she has had in her writing career. She explains how dealing with perfectionism has been a personal journey and how she has grown along the way. Tallent’s work offers readers an in-depth portrait of how she was crushed under the pressure of perfectionism, how she coped with this pressure, and the difficulties she experienced in the process of discovering her own self. Perhaps it is a book that will guide you as a valuable resource.
“Perfectionism is a terrifying mistake of the mind.”
― Elizabeth Tallent, Scratched: A Memoir of Perfectionism
4. The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life, Tal Ben-Shahar
In his book, Tal Ben-Shahar explains how the search for perfectionism consumes people and that true happiness is based on the understanding of “good enough” rather than perfectionism. The author offers readers ways to avoid the traps of perfectionism and achieve more satisfaction in life. Using positive psychology and personal development principles, the book emphasizes the importance of accepting flaws, accepting failures, and adopting a positive lifestyle. Ben-Shahar tries to explain to readers that happiness is a continuous journey and that this journey begins with getting rid of the pressure of perfectionism.
“Our behavior toward others is often a reflection of our treatment of ourselves.”
― Tal Ben-Shahar, Pursuit of Perfect
5. Letting Go of Perfect: Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids and Teens, Jill L. Adelson, Hope E. Wilson
This was a book that I wanted to add to the list as it would be a resource that adults and even educators can benefit from, especially for children and young people. Perfectionism can lead to excessive guilt, lack of motivation, low self-esteem, depression, pessimism, obsessive and compulsive behavior, and feelings of rigidity for children who believe their best is never good enough.
By identifying the main types of perfectionists and providing practical tips, the authors show parents and teachers how to help these children effectively control their perfectionist tendencies and use them to their advantage.
Chasing Ourselves, Not Perfection
These books remind us that we’re not alone in the labyrinth of perfectionism. Elizabeth Tallent’s sincere narrative, Thomas Curran’s courage-infused advice, Brené Brown’s power of vulnerability, Tal Ben-Shahar’s ‘good enough’ philosophy, and Jill L. Adelson and Hope E. Wilson’s guidance for children are a collective call to step away from the pursuit of perfection and embrace the courage to find our true selves.
Each word in the fight against perfectionism is a reminder that we are the authors of our own stories, and these books provide a guide to challenge the perfectionist critic within. It’s not the end of the road but the beginning of a healthier, happier life.
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